There are women out there fighting the idea of motherhood saying : “ not today” , “ not now”, “ not this year”.

Maternity is certainly a miracle and something women are expected to take on, no question asked, etc… Still we are not just procreating machines and the glorious happy moment when we hold our first child in our arms must be the moment we choose and are ready for.

What do you think is worse , having a child when you are young and not exactly ready to be a mom or having one after 30 when you are in the middle of a successful career and you feel you clock is ticking and a child seems the only logical next step?

Is the baby we dream of our getaway? If not, why do we hang so much on the concept of motherhood?

Let’s say Sally had her kid when she was 17, new mom, new things, new challenges. Let’s say that her parents took care of the little one and the absence of a father was not exactly felt. She eventually finished school, got in a relationship, and when looking back at her decision of keeping the child she considers she has done the best thing. Is this sounding familiar or is it a little bit too much looking like “Gilmore girls”?

Let’s say Linda had cancer and her life got postponed with 5 years of chemo and the related junk coming with it. She is in a successful relationship, happily married with the man of her dreams but the baby she wants is not possible due to the consequences of the devastating treatment that saved her life.

Last but not least, let’s say Mary had a rough childhood and the relationship she is into doesn’t look like the one turning into marriage and family. She is 35, she is a smart girl, business owner with a character ready to battle mountains and change the Universe. She thinks of getting pregnant but the fear of what will happen to the child if she and her life partner will break up is haunting her.

Girls…stop for a second and think …which of the above examples is worse?

Is it wise to ask a woman: “When do you plan to become a mom?” Who is the world to judge the right and the will to become a parent?

When we fondly look at a little one on the street or hold a baby in our arms it does not mean we want to become mothers or that we are ready to put our lives on hold because of a child.

Maybe…the large majority of women out there facing the idea of maternity would easily decide if they would want to be mothers if the matter would be entirely up to…them.